i just want to blog whatever i want.. hahahahah....

I really think there's a big big problem with me now.. the WHY ? and WHY ? and the asshole why !? instill in my head ! THE WHY SO Long de-Tour in life ! The WHY must i still believe in you when things are happening loads of opposite shit direction.. You give me hope.. and now it isnt like that.. The life of Job in the bible doesn't make sense to me now.. ! Whats the Big Shit of being a church ministry leader ? a worship leader in the front line or even the support singer ? being glamorous ? being famed ? all for the moment of glory that people remember ?... WHAts the big deal in being nice with the sheeps that you once have ? didnt they bite you like you do , forget what u have done ? .. the pure intention which turns out as shame in the end.. i have things to do now.. out of my way ! whoever and whatever ... and to those bullshit who is reading my blog feeling injustice by what i type.. just piss off..


Ok.. thats what i was thinking through just now.. when i came back from somewhere pretty my last time stepping foot on that place.. not that i dont like that place ! but i want to come back again in victorious style ! i promise not to step foot again on that place unless and untill the promise is fuifilled ! You owe me, God ! you see.. i aint perfect.. what i am trying to convey here is that.. life is still full of problem.. and i want to believe that God has the best for me in life.. though now i cant figure it out with my finite mind.. but i will cling on to the promise He gave me.. who says a person like me cant go wrong.. i am a terrible sinner ... i am just direct thats all.. i dont need to hide ..thats me practically ! true.. though the life of Job doesnt make sense to me.. the life of Jacob somehow speaks to me.. the stiring in the heart to achieve something in life is burning in me.. the wound that carry with me remind me.. just like Jacob wants to remember the day he wrestle with God and He bless him.. i aint giving up ! i just thought of the anime SLAM Dunk character Hanamichi Saraguki - kun being rejected by girls 50 times in high school but in the end found his love with haruko-san.. lol .. 50 times ! i guess i haven even go through half as much as he went through.. so i can look forward ! sending resume in recent days has been my hobby.. i really believe it can be done.. i am smart , charismatic and outspoken.. i am not afraid ..and in fact.. i should use this as my strenght to intimidate people... cool .. i should act on it.. Lennon you have just waken up urself ! didnt you ? Life is bright ahead.. give urself 5 years to run ! aim for the success of the world ! the success you have been lacking for all these 25 years ! make it up ! Fight for it ! leave those memories behind and march towards ur new dream ! be cunning at heart is better than pure at heart.. for no one will apreciate in the end... WHooooooooooo ....

Soccer semi final is this coming sunday ! i know many good friends that i have are fighting this match with our life putting on the line ... i think we can win.. with the right attitude and players ! though i just lost a reason to fight for.. i believe team work will be the key to fight for ! so lets do it ! Last sunday..my first time attending sunday service with my new-cg... hows it ? not too bad.. maybe ist time meeting them..so still abit uneasy.. they are a bunch of nice people.. let me see if i can recall their name.. Daisy,Jason,tracy,rachel, clarance, Jonathan, yan zi , jia yan, oops.. the rest i cant remember ! i am really looking forward in meeting this sister called tracy.. haha.. heard she is a fan of air supply , and a big fan in eating good food ! she was'nt around last week as she was oversees.. one thing i am learning in the cg is that.. being humble and willing to serve still .. i just pray that the gp will gel as one strong team and added with new seeds in the near future !

SONG OF THE DAY : Always with me ( 5 out of 5 )